I’ve been full of mixed emotions over the past couple of months. Perhaps one day I’ll share. But one of those reasons has to do with my weight gain. I wake up and give thanks to God for another day.
But by the time I reach my closet to figure out what I’m going to wear, my entire mood changes. I get frustrated over not finding anything to wear.
Then I get disappointed in myself for letting something so superficial have an effect on me- but it does.
I refuse to buy new clothes. I have a closet full of skirts and pants- but the clothes just don’t fit like they did two years ago. Many of my dresses make me look pregnant. A couple of years ago I wouldn’t have cared, but the truth is we’ve been actually trying for a baby for the past year. So when people (inappropriately) ask if I’m pregnant when they see my gut, it fucks with me because we’ve been trying and the bump isn’t a bump – not yet anyway.
But this morning I decided not to get upset with my daily visit to my closet. I saw this gray skirt from Express that’s been hanging in my closet next to my other pencil skirts. I had my doubts as I reached for the hanger but I was ready to make an effort. I pulled and tucked until it fit. Instead of tucking my blouse in, I left it out and I was happy with my outfit of the day.
I have a compact treadmill in my small apartment that I’ve only used twice. I would like to get into a working out routine but I’m lazy and I love to eat. And it seems as if my metabolism is slowing down because my eating habits weren’t a “problem” before. In any event, I have to say I felt quite comfortable in my pencil skirt today.
However, I found myself walking with my purse super close to my stomach as to hide my gut. “If you’re not happy, do something about it,” right? I’ve had a couple of things on my mind lately but I’m happy to share one of my insecurities with you.
I’ll be sure to let you know (and show) you when I get on the treadmill again or at least start doing some squats.
Do you have any working out tips for me?