Facing my fear of wearing a pencil skirt after weight gain
I've been full of mixed emotions over the past couple of months. Perhaps one day I'll share. But one of those reasons has to do with my weight gain. I wake up and give thanks to God for another day.
But by the time I reach my closet to figure out what I'm going to wear, my entire mood changes. I get frustrated over not finding anything to wear.
Then I get disappointed in myself for letting something so superficial have an effect on me- but it does.
I refuse to buy new clothes. I have a closet full of skirts and pants- but the clothes just don't fit like they did two years ago. Many of my dresses make me look pregnant. A couple of years ago I wouldn't have cared, but the truth is we've been actually trying for a baby for the past year. So when people (inappropriately) ask if I'm pregnant when they see my gut, it fucks with me because we've been trying and the bump isn't a bump - not yet anyway.
But this morning I decided not to get upset with my daily visit to my closet. I saw this gray skirt from Express that's been hanging in my closet next to my other pencil skirts. I had my doubts as I reached for the hanger but I was ready to make an effort. I pulled and tucked until it fit. Instead of tucking my blouse in, I left it out and I was happy with my outfit of the day.
I have a compact treadmill in my small apartment that I've only used twice. I would like to get into a working out routine but I'm lazy and I love to eat. And it seems as if my metabolism is slowing down because my eating habits weren't a "problem" before. In any event, I have to say I felt quite comfortable in my pencil skirt today.
However, I found myself walking with my purse super close to my stomach as to hide my gut. "If you're not happy, do something about it," right? I've had a couple of things on my mind lately but I'm happy to share one of my insecurities with you.
I'll be sure to let you know (and show) you when I get on the treadmill again or at least start doing some squats.
Do you have any working out tips for me?